We have been steadily announcing our plans to friends, family and honestly anyone who will listen! (we might be excited a tad!) Occasionally we have met with some strange responses. Some make us laugh, some make me scratch my head and some....well some just seem confused. Comments ranging from 'oh be careful' to 'oh you just couldn't get the job done so you're gonna go this route huh?' (ok moment of honesty here, but that one made me so angry) 99% of the reactions have been joy and excitement and support for us, and I'm so grateful. But it got me thinking, maybe people don't understand WHY we are adopting. So allow me to explain.....
Chris and I have been married for 5 years, and we have always planned to adopt. I was adopted as an infant and it has always been something I'm proud of. I think the courage and sacrifice of all parties involved is amazing and I greatly admire my birth mom and my parents. So we have left the building of our family to God. Thus far, we have not conceived ourselves. For a long time this was something that I really struggled with, but now I realize that its been a gift in a lot of ways. I'm not claiming that I'm infertile, or that we will never have a biological child, but for right now, God has grown my dream of having children and moved my heart to pursue adoption. And I am BEYOND delighted with this plan He has laid before me. Are we giving up on biological children? No. Are we going to seek treatment or fertility assistance? No. We have decided to be open to pursue the family God has designed for us. The method our children come to be in our family just isn't important. What matters is they fit with us, they were made to be part of our lives. I say they because we don't know how many kids our family will hold. Again, that part is not up to us. The only thing required of us is to say yes!
We are working with Christian Family Adoptions in Portland. Currently we are in the Home Study phase. We are doing the Loving Options Infant program in Oregon/Washington states only. This option is considerably more affordable and allows us to be closer when the baby is born. There are no guarantees, but the process generally takes 12-24 months start to finish, depending on when you get matched. Once we are approved with the home study visits, we will then wait to be matched with a birth mom and go from there.
My hope is that helps you understand the 'why' behind all this. Adoption is not a consolation prize. It is not a second option. Its not a 'well we can't have our own children so I guess this will do'. Its a we're-up-for-a-crazy-adventure. Its a yes to something so much bigger than us. There is no sadness for me. Only a fierce determination that somewhere out there, a baby is being conceived who's life we were meant to partner with. Somewhere out there is a birth mom who's courageous, selfless choice to allow us to be part of her journey will make me a mom. It will be beautiful. And messy. And chaotic. But that's just what this life is, a messy beautiful chaotic adventure and I'm so excited for what this will bring.
So there ya have it. My goal with this blog is to be open and vulnerable with this process. So if you would, please take a moment to leave me a comment so I know who is reading this. Feel free to ask any questions about our journey and I will answer them the best I can.
Have an amazing weekend! ~ Kristen
PS - Don't forget to order your baked goods for our Cinnadopt fundraiser! If you are in the Portland/Salem area we will be delivering next week. You can pay via the Paypal button on the main page of the blog. Thanks again!!
