Friday, September 4, 2015
Tension
The other day I watched this video of a testimony from Melissa Helser (singer/worship leader) someone had posted on Facebook. It really impacted me and I wanted to share my journal entry below. Hope it encourages you!
“Just watched a video testimony about Melissa Helser and how she has psoriatic arthritis and what God has taught her. He didn't just heal her but helped her find joy in the waiting. She said nothing can convince her that God is not good, not even pain. One line she said really stood out to me - 'Without tension, you can't make music.'
I realized I haven't been holding onto the goodness of God. Yes this waiting is hard. I'm in love with a baby I can't see yet. My heart feels divided already even though our baby isn't here. And yes it's hard. But if I stop and remember that God, the creator of all things, the One who loves me and saves me every day, He is writing this adoption love story. Not me. My part is just a small one in a bigger picture of redemption and love. That He would orchestrate something of this magnitude and let me be a part? Mind blowing. Of course He is good. Of course He sees my heart. Of course He knows the wait is tough. But if I remember that He has written this story, maybe I'll remember how good He is. And then I'll breathe easy in the waiting, knowing my job is just to trust in a good Father who loves me, who loves our future baby so much that He would write a story so detailed, with so many people involved.
I want to be found faithful in the waiting. So I'm letting go today of my plans, my wants, my desires and holding on to the One who loves me.”
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Crickets
Well hello!
I've sat down to post an update numerous times over the last few months, but have never found the words to say so gave up shortly after. But now I've decided it's time to give you a peek into our adoption world over the last bit of time. And 'waiting' is the name of the game.
Over the last few months, we've seen numerous profiles for birth families, but most have been in Utah or Florida and we've had to make the difficult choices to not show our book for a good portion of them. There are a lot of reasons why, but I don't feel like it's information that belongs in my blog. Just know that we've prayed extensively over each profile, and have never found peace. These were not our babies, it's just that simple.
In July, we got a phone call about a closer to home birth family who was due within days of our initial conversation. Chris and I prayed about it and quickly decided that we would love to meet the birth mom. Due to wanting to protect her privacy, I won't go into much detail here. We set up a meeting for the next day and tried to sleep that night. And let me tell you, it was NOT easy to sleep! The next day we met this lovely lady and had a great 2 hour meeting with her. We felt a great connection with her and her story and got the chance to pray over her at the end of the visit. Over the next 3 days we anxiously awaited news to hear if she had chosen us or not. July 11th arrived which happened to be our 6 year anniversary. I checked my phone and saw we had a voicemail from our agency. Very quickly my stomach sank upon hearing she had chosen the other family and that the baby had already been born. Needless to say, we took this news very hard. We were so hopeful that this would be our match. We felt so happy for the other adoptive family as we knew they were getting the best news, but so sad for us as well as sad for the birth mother as we imagined how difficult her decision had to be. It was such a learning experience though. We know God is so good and He has this story already written out. We are learning to acknowledge the grief of not getting chosen, but focus on the hope that we will meet our baby someday, hopefully soon!
We are surrounded with such great support. People prayed with us, encouraged us. Some friends even snuck into our home to leave us a card with some gifts for us to have a date night. We felt so carried even though we were sad.
Fast forward to now, the first day of September, and we are still waiting. There's no news. Nothing. Crickets.
I wasn't prepared for the deafening silence that comes along with anxiously awaiting the one phone call that will most change our lives! I'm not gonna lie, it's HARD. The best way I can explain it is similar to the feeling when you are walking down a hallway and you know someone is hidden along the way and is going to jump out and scare you! I know we could get an email or call at any moment. I don't know about you other adoptive families out there, but I'm glued to my phone most of the day! Every time it dings to let me know I have an email, my heart leaps a little. It's a constant roller coaster of emotions! I know God has already written this beautiful story, but I just want to know the ending! This personality trait of mine drives Chris crazy. We will be watching a suspenseful movie and I just can't take it so I'll look up how it ends online so I can relax and just enjoy the rest of the movie. But for some reason, God won't let me do that in the case of our adoption!
So there ya have it. That's what's been going on. I'm going to try to blog more often, even if it's just about how we're processing and feeling. Maybe it'll help someone else out there who is in the longest wait of their lives like we are! We're just so very excited to meet this little person who will change our whole world. I know this blog sounds a little whiny, so thank you for letting me write my feelings out. But please know that the honor and privilege of adoptions is not lost on Chris and me. We know it's an adventure and full of twists and turns, we're just hanging on for dear life and trying to enjoy the journey!
Thanks for reading!
Kristen
I've sat down to post an update numerous times over the last few months, but have never found the words to say so gave up shortly after. But now I've decided it's time to give you a peek into our adoption world over the last bit of time. And 'waiting' is the name of the game.
Over the last few months, we've seen numerous profiles for birth families, but most have been in Utah or Florida and we've had to make the difficult choices to not show our book for a good portion of them. There are a lot of reasons why, but I don't feel like it's information that belongs in my blog. Just know that we've prayed extensively over each profile, and have never found peace. These were not our babies, it's just that simple.
In July, we got a phone call about a closer to home birth family who was due within days of our initial conversation. Chris and I prayed about it and quickly decided that we would love to meet the birth mom. Due to wanting to protect her privacy, I won't go into much detail here. We set up a meeting for the next day and tried to sleep that night. And let me tell you, it was NOT easy to sleep! The next day we met this lovely lady and had a great 2 hour meeting with her. We felt a great connection with her and her story and got the chance to pray over her at the end of the visit. Over the next 3 days we anxiously awaited news to hear if she had chosen us or not. July 11th arrived which happened to be our 6 year anniversary. I checked my phone and saw we had a voicemail from our agency. Very quickly my stomach sank upon hearing she had chosen the other family and that the baby had already been born. Needless to say, we took this news very hard. We were so hopeful that this would be our match. We felt so happy for the other adoptive family as we knew they were getting the best news, but so sad for us as well as sad for the birth mother as we imagined how difficult her decision had to be. It was such a learning experience though. We know God is so good and He has this story already written out. We are learning to acknowledge the grief of not getting chosen, but focus on the hope that we will meet our baby someday, hopefully soon!
We are surrounded with such great support. People prayed with us, encouraged us. Some friends even snuck into our home to leave us a card with some gifts for us to have a date night. We felt so carried even though we were sad.
Fast forward to now, the first day of September, and we are still waiting. There's no news. Nothing. Crickets.
 |
| This picture made me laugh so much! |
I wasn't prepared for the deafening silence that comes along with anxiously awaiting the one phone call that will most change our lives! I'm not gonna lie, it's HARD. The best way I can explain it is similar to the feeling when you are walking down a hallway and you know someone is hidden along the way and is going to jump out and scare you! I know we could get an email or call at any moment. I don't know about you other adoptive families out there, but I'm glued to my phone most of the day! Every time it dings to let me know I have an email, my heart leaps a little. It's a constant roller coaster of emotions! I know God has already written this beautiful story, but I just want to know the ending! This personality trait of mine drives Chris crazy. We will be watching a suspenseful movie and I just can't take it so I'll look up how it ends online so I can relax and just enjoy the rest of the movie. But for some reason, God won't let me do that in the case of our adoption!
So there ya have it. That's what's been going on. I'm going to try to blog more often, even if it's just about how we're processing and feeling. Maybe it'll help someone else out there who is in the longest wait of their lives like we are! We're just so very excited to meet this little person who will change our whole world. I know this blog sounds a little whiny, so thank you for letting me write my feelings out. But please know that the honor and privilege of adoptions is not lost on Chris and me. We know it's an adventure and full of twists and turns, we're just hanging on for dear life and trying to enjoy the journey!
Thanks for reading!
Kristen
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Still Waiting.....
I realize it has been about a decade since I last posted on here. Oops. We've been super busy with life in general! So here's a quick update:
All has been silent on the adoption front. Our profile book was shown a couple months ago for the first (and only) time but the young lady decided on another family. We actually were quite grateful for the experience as now we have a better idea of what to expect. We feel very peaceful that this was not the right match for us and that God is orchestrating our story behind the scenes and we don't need to worry about the details. I am SO grateful for overwhelming peace. It was exciting to have our book shown though and to know that another waiting family like ours just got exciting news! Otherwise we haven't heard a peep for a couple months, but we were warned this would be the case. Especially since we have chosen to only pursue matches in the Oregon and Washington areas for numerous reasons. Namely, it can almost double the cost to go outside our local area. Also, as we have prayed about this we just feel like God wants us to stay local for right now. After a year, we will pray and reassess to see if we should expand our options but for now, we are peaceful and happy where we are!
Fundraising has been going SO well. We are just blown away by people's love and generosity! We had our first yard sale of the season last weekend. I had prayed and asked God that we would raise $1000 with this sale. I counted what we had made at close on Saturday and found we were at $945! We were blown away because the most expensive item we sold was $50. You can imagine how much stuff we had to sell to reach that amount. Right after counting, 3 more latecomers showed up and bought items and then told us to keep the change for our cause (this happened SO many times throughout the weekend!) This got our total to $998 and again I thought, how cool that we got so close to our goal. A friend commented on my Facebook post that she had taken an item and would pay us the $2 next time we saw her. That made our grand total exactly $1000!!! I didn't take this as coincidence, and neither did Chris. We saw so clearly how much God loves us and wanted to confirm we are in the exact place He wants us to be. Amazing how much something so seemingly small can just rejuvenate and re energize our hearts and spirits to continue on this path He has brought us too.
After the sale and other donations from friends and family, we are approximately $4000 away from the minimum adoption fee we would need! In less than a year. This blows my mind. I remember talking with Chris when we were deciding if adoption was right for us, and looking at the costs of $20k plus and feeling so overwhelmed. God is so good. And the people around us are so good. I wish I could go tell each person who has helped in any way thank you and hug their necks. But a giant THANK YOU from my blog will have to suffice for today! THANK YOU. Chris and I feel so humbled that so many people believe in us, believe in adoption, believe in this little person we get to meet someday. This is not a small thing you are doing for us. It's huge. Every time one of you donates, or texts to ask how we're doing, or says they are praying - this keeps our spirits up and encourages us to keep going down this path that is far from simple or easy. I wish I could really convey how my heart feels about all this, but this is as close as I can get with words!
So that is all for now. I guess I had more to say than I thought I did! Thank you for your good thoughts, prayers and encouragement. We can't wait to have exciting news to share someday.
Have an amazing week everyone! YOU ARE LOVED!
Kristen
All has been silent on the adoption front. Our profile book was shown a couple months ago for the first (and only) time but the young lady decided on another family. We actually were quite grateful for the experience as now we have a better idea of what to expect. We feel very peaceful that this was not the right match for us and that God is orchestrating our story behind the scenes and we don't need to worry about the details. I am SO grateful for overwhelming peace. It was exciting to have our book shown though and to know that another waiting family like ours just got exciting news! Otherwise we haven't heard a peep for a couple months, but we were warned this would be the case. Especially since we have chosen to only pursue matches in the Oregon and Washington areas for numerous reasons. Namely, it can almost double the cost to go outside our local area. Also, as we have prayed about this we just feel like God wants us to stay local for right now. After a year, we will pray and reassess to see if we should expand our options but for now, we are peaceful and happy where we are!
Fundraising has been going SO well. We are just blown away by people's love and generosity! We had our first yard sale of the season last weekend. I had prayed and asked God that we would raise $1000 with this sale. I counted what we had made at close on Saturday and found we were at $945! We were blown away because the most expensive item we sold was $50. You can imagine how much stuff we had to sell to reach that amount. Right after counting, 3 more latecomers showed up and bought items and then told us to keep the change for our cause (this happened SO many times throughout the weekend!) This got our total to $998 and again I thought, how cool that we got so close to our goal. A friend commented on my Facebook post that she had taken an item and would pay us the $2 next time we saw her. That made our grand total exactly $1000!!! I didn't take this as coincidence, and neither did Chris. We saw so clearly how much God loves us and wanted to confirm we are in the exact place He wants us to be. Amazing how much something so seemingly small can just rejuvenate and re energize our hearts and spirits to continue on this path He has brought us too.
After the sale and other donations from friends and family, we are approximately $4000 away from the minimum adoption fee we would need! In less than a year. This blows my mind. I remember talking with Chris when we were deciding if adoption was right for us, and looking at the costs of $20k plus and feeling so overwhelmed. God is so good. And the people around us are so good. I wish I could go tell each person who has helped in any way thank you and hug their necks. But a giant THANK YOU from my blog will have to suffice for today! THANK YOU. Chris and I feel so humbled that so many people believe in us, believe in adoption, believe in this little person we get to meet someday. This is not a small thing you are doing for us. It's huge. Every time one of you donates, or texts to ask how we're doing, or says they are praying - this keeps our spirits up and encourages us to keep going down this path that is far from simple or easy. I wish I could really convey how my heart feels about all this, but this is as close as I can get with words!
So that is all for now. I guess I had more to say than I thought I did! Thank you for your good thoughts, prayers and encouragement. We can't wait to have exciting news to share someday.
Have an amazing week everyone! YOU ARE LOVED!
Kristen
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Adopted Newborn Class
Last weekend Chris and I attended an all day training about caring for adopted infants. It was taught by a registered nurse and others who had all adopted children themselves. We had a GREAT time!
We learned basic infant care including swaddling, diaper options, baby wearing and early child development as well as more adoption related material. We had a 'baby' that we were to take care of for the entire class. Here is Chris with our little 'girl'. She didn't cry or wet her diaper once!
I am so thankful that there are adoptive families that want to share information that they've learned! One of the greatest parts of the day was getting to interact with other families in the adoption process.
We also had the chance to check out some adoption related children's books. The one I loved the most and can't wait to purchase is God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren. It is absolutely beautifully written, I found myself tearing up just flipping through the book.
We learned basic infant care including swaddling, diaper options, baby wearing and early child development as well as more adoption related material. We had a 'baby' that we were to take care of for the entire class. Here is Chris with our little 'girl'. She didn't cry or wet her diaper once!
I am so thankful that there are adoptive families that want to share information that they've learned! One of the greatest parts of the day was getting to interact with other families in the adoption process.
We also had the chance to check out some adoption related children's books. The one I loved the most and can't wait to purchase is God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren. It is absolutely beautifully written, I found myself tearing up just flipping through the book.
One of my favorite excerpts from the book reads "Oh yes" Mama said with a smile. "That is my favorite story of all. From God to my arms, you made me the happiest mother in the world." "Just by comin' home?" Little Fox asked with a yawn. "Especially by coming home." Mama said
If you are in the Portland area definitely check out the Baby & Toddler Care Class through NAFA (Northwest Adoptive Families Association)
Waiting....
I've decided to call this season of my life the 'Waiting Room'. Mostly waiting for adoption news but then again it seems like I'm always waiting on something. For Friday to roll around, for pay day, vacations, birthdays, news of any sort about our adoption. I've been asking God, what do I do while in the 'waiting room' and I'm starting to learn something. I'm learning that if I focus too much on what I'm waiting for to happen, I miss out on a good deal of my life. And a lot of life is spent waiting so in a sense I'm wishing a good portion of my life away. Easier said than done, but I'm trying to step back and enjoy this process, to not miss out on what God has for me in this 'waiting room' season I'm in.
That being said, we've been 'waiting' a grand total of two months for any news about our adoption and I'm trying not to pull my hair out. I know what you are thinking and yes, two months isn't very long at all. This could go on for a couple years so I should probably calm down right? It's not so much that I'm wanting to rush the process, it's more the constant 'never knowing what's going on' combined with the 'gotta be prepared at all times' rounded out by the 'what do we do now'. I'm just constantly reminded and thankful that God holds the map. I'm thankful that even though I have no idea when or where or how this is all going to happen, He does. He see's the big picture and knows every detail down to how many hairs will be on this child's head. That is my constant source of relief during all of this waiting. Those that know me, know I love to plan, love to have ideas and know what's going on at all times, so this is quite a stretching and growing season for me. And I like that. I need to grow. I need to be stretched. I don't mean to sound whiny, in all reality most days fly by. But occasionally I hit a day like today where I just can't stop wondering how this will all play out and it starts to feel a bit overwhelming.
So if you are wondering how you could support us right now, we would ask for prayer. Prayer for us as we wait and learn more about being patient! Prayer for the birth mom we will meet someday. Lastly, prayer for this wonderful little him or her who is the center of this whole thing. I'm constantly just in awe of how much support and love we are shown from family, friends and even complete strangers. I'm so blessed.
Speaking of blessed, have you seen our fundraising thermometer? >>>>>>
Good grief we are surrounded by generous folks. I just love how many of you want to be involved in Baby Locati's life! Oh the stories we will be able to tell Baby about how many people prayed for, donated and asked about him or her. Thank you for loving our family so much. Seriously. Thank you.
We are $7500 away from the minimum amount we will need to finalize the adoption! This blows my mind!! If you are wondering how to help, consider purchasing a puzzle piece. Each piece is $5 and goes directly to our agency fees. Your name will go on a puzzle piece and eventually hung up in the nursery so our family can remember you all and how you have sacrificed to help us!
Here's an update on how many pieces have been purchased! About 100 have been sponsored, 400 to go (this doesn't reflect that an amazing family member purchased an entire puzzle themselves! We still have to get that completed)
Thanks for checking in! We will keep you posted if we hear anything!
Kristen
That being said, we've been 'waiting' a grand total of two months for any news about our adoption and I'm trying not to pull my hair out. I know what you are thinking and yes, two months isn't very long at all. This could go on for a couple years so I should probably calm down right? It's not so much that I'm wanting to rush the process, it's more the constant 'never knowing what's going on' combined with the 'gotta be prepared at all times' rounded out by the 'what do we do now'. I'm just constantly reminded and thankful that God holds the map. I'm thankful that even though I have no idea when or where or how this is all going to happen, He does. He see's the big picture and knows every detail down to how many hairs will be on this child's head. That is my constant source of relief during all of this waiting. Those that know me, know I love to plan, love to have ideas and know what's going on at all times, so this is quite a stretching and growing season for me. And I like that. I need to grow. I need to be stretched. I don't mean to sound whiny, in all reality most days fly by. But occasionally I hit a day like today where I just can't stop wondering how this will all play out and it starts to feel a bit overwhelming.
So if you are wondering how you could support us right now, we would ask for prayer. Prayer for us as we wait and learn more about being patient! Prayer for the birth mom we will meet someday. Lastly, prayer for this wonderful little him or her who is the center of this whole thing. I'm constantly just in awe of how much support and love we are shown from family, friends and even complete strangers. I'm so blessed.
Speaking of blessed, have you seen our fundraising thermometer? >>>>>>
Good grief we are surrounded by generous folks. I just love how many of you want to be involved in Baby Locati's life! Oh the stories we will be able to tell Baby about how many people prayed for, donated and asked about him or her. Thank you for loving our family so much. Seriously. Thank you.
We are $7500 away from the minimum amount we will need to finalize the adoption! This blows my mind!! If you are wondering how to help, consider purchasing a puzzle piece. Each piece is $5 and goes directly to our agency fees. Your name will go on a puzzle piece and eventually hung up in the nursery so our family can remember you all and how you have sacrificed to help us!
Here's an update on how many pieces have been purchased! About 100 have been sponsored, 400 to go (this doesn't reflect that an amazing family member purchased an entire puzzle themselves! We still have to get that completed)
Thanks for checking in! We will keep you posted if we hear anything!
Kristen
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Missing Piece Fundraiser
I'm very excited to have my very first guest blogger today - my very dear friend Jenni! She wrote a little something to tell you about the fundraiser she is doing on our behalf. I'm so grateful for the amazing family and friends we are blessed with. I don't know that I'll ever be able to say thank you enough (although I have promised lots of future baby snuggles!)
Hello readers of Kristen's Blog!
Hello readers of Kristen's Blog!
I have known Kristen for almost eight years now and I have loved every minute of knowing this wonderful woman. I also had the pleasure of watching Kristen and her wonderful husband Chris
fall in love and to see their love story unfold. I still remember the morning after Thanksgiving, Kristen waiting by my door for me to wake up so she could share
her exciting news - Chris had asked her out the night before! She was so
excited and so happy! In July 2009 they got married and I was very lucky to photograph the very first
moment Chris saw Kristen walking down the aisle towards him and the joy that was
on his face. What a beautiful moment!!!
Now they have started a new chapter in their lives together and
have started to process to adopt a baby!! I could not be happier or more
excited for them and I cannot wait to be Auntie to their little bundle of joy
that I know they will love and cherish so much.
I wanted to help Kristen and Chris out as I know the fundraising aspect is quite overwhelming, so I decided to host a puzzle fundraiser called 'Bring Home the Missing Piece'. Here's how it works. I purchased a 500 piece puzzle and I am asking people to sponsor pieces for $5 each.
When you sponsor a puzzle piece, I will write your name on the back and once the
puzzle is complete I will frame it with the names facing out for Kristen and Chris to hang in the baby's nursery so
they can see every person who helped bring home Baby Locati!
There are two ways to donate - the easiest is through the Paypal link to the right of your screen on Kristen's blog. Just mark how many pieces you want and I will get your name added to the puzzle pieces! The other option is to email me at jen.meissner@yahoo.com and I can give you the address to send a check to! All proceeds go directly towards their adoption agency expenses.
Thank you for taking the time to read about our exciting fundraiser! Currently we have sold 10 pieces of this puzzle in addition to a very generous family member of Chris' that purchased an entire puzzle themselves! I know Chris and Kristen are so humbled and grateful for every sacrifice their friends and family are making to help them in this process. I know they have raised a lot so far (see the fundraiser thermometer on the right side of the blog!) but have a long ways to go. Just know that every puzzle piece counts!
Love you Kristen and Chris so much and i can't wait to watch this next
journey unfold.
~ Jenni
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Baby Gear
As things are moving along, I am trying to get my nursery all ready and realized I'm missing a few things so before I go shopping, I thought I'd ask for feedback on favorite baby products!
So....let me know, what item/product could you just not live without and would recommend to a first time mom like me? I'm especially interested in wraps/slings and car seat feedback!
Leave a comment below!
So....let me know, what item/product could you just not live without and would recommend to a first time mom like me? I'm especially interested in wraps/slings and car seat feedback!
Leave a comment below!
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